Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Charm Bracelet Kind Campaign Kindness Catju Designs

Today's post is a guest blog by my good friend Devolyn.  She sent me the post below, which in turn inspired me to make this Kindness Bracelet.  You can find it in my Etsy shop if you are interested in purchasing one to support the Kind Campaign, and kindness.

Kindness Bracelet inspired by Devolyn
Here is Devolyn's email:

Last night I took my amazing 14-year old daughter to a screening of "Finding Kind" - a documentary made by two recent Pepperdine graduates about "girl world" (and "woman world") since this behavior doesn't stop at graduation!), the pervasive meanness and bullying of females to other females.  They had gone on a road trip around the country, interviewing many different people.

  • The film showed that they found this bullying affected everyone - every female they interviewed had been both affected by unkind words or actions and had negatively affected others by their own unkind words or actions.
  • Frequently the girls could provide no reason for this behavior, but some was prompted by jealousy and wanting to fit in.
  • The negative words and actions affected both parties, even though the one doing the unkind things often didn't realize it (or realized it much later in life).
  • The negative effects often lasted years or a lifetime, and we're all aware of the suicides that have made the news over the past few years.  Many of those interviewed said that they just wanted attention or love.
  • The filmmakers found that these behaviors are found not only among girls, but also among women - in friendships, neighborhoods, professional job settings, or other circles of life.
  • They also interviewed young and mature men and found that most men know that girls/women are mean to each other, but don't know why, that boys/men do not usually have the same negative spirit or impact on each other.  The fight, get over it, get on with things - many times becoming better friends than before.
  • They also perceive that men are more likely to make lifelong friendships - "brotherhoods" - than women; women will have a series of friendships throughout their life, but lifelong friendships between/among women are fairly rare.  They talked about trust and lack of trust between "friends" ... and about how strong friendships need care and attention.
  • They reviewed the things that exacerbate this pervasive problem - technology, images everywhere, relationships depicted in TV/movies or song lyrics, etc.  They noted that this problem wasn't new in film/TV, but that the QUANTITY of negative images has increased from 30ish to 30,000 per day (did I hear that right?) since "our Mothers were teenagers" (is that me or my Mother?  Whatever, it's a lot!)  Studies have shown that 15 minutes of looking at a magazine will cause a female's scores on self-esteem tests to go down.  They also included the clip from the Dove commercial that showed the regular-looking person getting made up and Photo-Shopped to go in the advertisement - amazing.
Obviously, it made a big impact on me too.

These young ladies did have some concrete suggestions for the audience:

1.  If you can't say something nice, don't say anything.

2.  THINK before you speak or act.

3.  A sincere apology is very powerful and can be healing, for both parties.

4.  Understand that there will be disagreements and arguments, but there's no need to be mean.

5.  If there is a disagreement/argument/misunderstanding, TALK about it WITH that person.  Don't talk ABOUT them.

They had "interactive" exercises; namely, three cards for the girls to fill out:  

-the Kind Pledge (promise yourself something concrete "to unite in kindness in an effort to end female bullying"), 

-the Kind Apology (written to a specific person about a specific thing, then sign your name and give it to that person),

-and the Kind Card (something kind or uplifting written to a specific person, again give the card to that person).

The filmmakers said that they usually do these exercises in school assemblies and that they see rifts and hurts healed (or made better. . .).

It was very good.  For more information, visit the Kind Campaign at


Devolyn A said...

Kathy - I'm honored that you were moved to create this from my simple comments. And now I'm famous!! The bracelet is beautiful, and its simplicity lets your message shine through. What a wonderful and kind way to show your support and day-to-day living of kindness. Thank you.

Dianne said...

What a beautiful bracelet and a beautiful movement. I always hated how catty women are towards each other and have been somewhat jealous of the relationships men have with each other- much more simple.

LizzzFilm said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
LizzzFilm said...

What a great movement and piece. I am looking into that website link right now.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful bracelet, I like how you get inspired by people when it comes to your work. The bracelet looks fantastic, good job.

Anonymous said...

What a great cause! I will be looking into ways to get involved. Thanks for raising awareness.